How to support someone having an autism meltdown
Hello everybody, welcome back to my blog!
If you know about autism, you probably know about autism meltdowns.
As non-autistic people, we can not begin to understand what autistic people are going through, but we can make an effort to educate us as much as possible to support our loved ones.
So to begin, I would like to start with a question:
What is an autism meltdown?
The autism awareness center put it like this:
An autistic meltdown is all about being overwhelmed. For someone with autism, when they reach the point of sensory, emotional, and information overload, or even just too much unpredictability, it can trigger a variety of external behaviours or it can trigger a complete shutdown and withdrawal.
Autism.org.uk put it like this:
A meltdown is an intense response to overwhelming situations. It happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses behavioural control.
Autistic meltdowns are never to be confused with temper tantrums! That being said, let's dive in.
#ActuallyAutistic Answers
Before I speak on the topic myself, I would like to make actually autistic voices heard. When asking my boyfriend, who has autism himself, what he needs during a meltdown he said this:
"I need time and space, and sometimes to be reassured that everything is ok, that my world isn't actually ending. You have to be patient, not talk too much and most importantly, don't touch."
When I asked autistic people on my twitter what they needed during a meltdown, these were the answers I got. (I'm keeping them anonymous to protect their privacy.)
"You leave them alone, basically. Make sure they don't hurt themselves, but otherwise: space.During a meltdown, all sensory input is a further burden on the brain. No talkie, no touchie."
"Usually, I need to escape when I have one. Other people being around makes it worse because I’m worried about how they’ll react in addition to whatever pushed me past my limit."
"I don’t really need comfort or even any fix, just someone who can look out for me while I handle it."
"I need darkness, a particular album playing on headphones, space, and ideally to remove some clothes"
"I need to feel enclosed so I usually sit on the floor and face the wall or a piece of furniture and put a blanket around myself, sometimes over my head as well"
"I need people to stop talking to me, or talking at me. Just stop. I need to have all sensory input reduced drastically. Tell me, “I know you are upset, I’m here for you, but I’ll leave you just now.” Then stop talking at me."
"Just bring me my comfort items, my phone, a stim toy and some tea and give me space and time. Also if I need pain meds please don’t wait till I’m not melting down to give them. I’m probably melting down because I’m in pain."
"A quiet space which is hard if I end up in public lol my son who is also asd has been hard. But quiet places help for him too and then snuggles when he is coming down from one and comfort"
"I need people to go away and leave me alone"
So what can you do?
As we learned from the #actuallyautistic voices above, we need to give them space, time, avoid talking to them too much, avoid touching them & create a quiet space. Here are some more tips:
1. Stay calm
The last thing someone having a meltdown needs is you freaking out. Take a deep breath and don't mirror the behavior/ emotions in front of you.
2. Remove them from the situation
If you're in public, make sure you can find a quiet room/ space where the person can be isolated.
3. Ensure safety
Make sure the person is safe and won't injure themselves
4. Ask what you can do
At the end of the day, everyone is different. There is no answer that applies to all autistic people. So ask. Ask if you can bring them something if you should stay or go away. Just avoid talking too much.
5. Talk to your loved one about how to behave during a meltdown (when they are not actually having one)
When your loved one is in a better state of mind and feeling good, have a conversation with them about what to do and what not to do the next time they are having a meltdown. Ask lots of questions, suggest things, and listen to them. Apply what they tell you.
6. Avoid any kind of input
No smells, sounds, lights, touch, etc
7. If they don't answer you, don't pressure them to respond
8. Figure out what caused the meltdown and how it could have been avoided later
9. Eliminate punishments
10. Talk about coping strategies once they are feeling ok
11. Be gentle and respectful
12. Show empathy
Sources:
I hope this was helpful. Thank you to everyone who helped me make this.
All the best to everyone,
love,
Caroline
It’s great that you’ve got opinions of #actuallyautistics on this. They are the ones who know what it feels like, like you say though everyone is different. My son actually needs lots of touch, deep pressure and sensory input, and searches for it when in meltdown
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